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zanetehaiden:

zanetehaiden:

DUDES

DUDES GUYS DUDEBROCHACHO HE-MAN BROSEPHSTEINBECHS

SO I WENT OUT TO GET SOME ICE CREAM THIS NIPPLE-FRIDDLED NIGHT BECAUSE I FELT LIKE GETTING SOME GODDAMN ICE CREAM

BUT THEN I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, “JACKSON, YOU ARE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT, YOU SHOULD GET MORE THAN ICE CREAM!!”

A SMALL PART OF MY MIND REPLIED “WAIT NO UR NOT” BUT I DIDNT LISTEN TO IT SO I GOT SOME GODDAMN COOKIES.

ON THE WAY OUT, THERE WAS THIS CUTE LITTLE SIGN THAT SAID “SOFT DRINKS” AND I ONCE AGAIN THOUGHT TO MYSELF FOR A RECORD TWO TIMES IN ONE NIGHT. THE THOUGHT THAT HAPPENED IN MY BRAIN WAS “DUDE YOU LIKE SODAS TOO YOU SHOULD GET SOME GODDAMN SODA”

SO YOU KNOW WHAT????

I FUCKING DID. AND I ALSO GOT SOME MONSTERS BECAUSE THEY WERE IN THE SAME AISLE AND I FUCKIN LOVE MONSTERS TOO SUE ME FOR BEING A STONE COLD BUTTER-SLATHERED BROSKI

SO I GET HOME WITH THESE COOKIES AND ICE CREAM AND SODA AND SHIT AND

THERE IS MY BLENDER

JUST SITTING THERE

GLISTENEING BEAUTIFULLY

SO IG ET AN IDEA IN MY HEAD THAT

THAT I SHOULD BLEND IT ALL

THAT I SHOULD MAKE THE BEST THING EVER

AND SO I DID

GOD FUCKING SHITFUCK THIS IS THE BEST DECISION IVE EVER MADE

MY HEART IS SCREAMING BUT I WILL SHOW NO MERCY TO THE MUSCLE OF MISERY

I WANNA FUCKIN RUN A MARATHON

I WANNA

FUCKIN

RUN DOWN A HORSE

A GODDAMN HORSE

AND JUST LIKE, STROKE IT SENSUALLY AND NEIGH QUIETLY INTO ITS EAR

I WANNA RIP THE STILL BEATING HEART OUT OF A GROWN ASS MAN AND SHOVE IT UP HIS GROWN ASS ASS FOR SCIENCE

AND THEN IM GONNA MOTHERFUCKIN SOLVE COLD FUSION AND WORLD HUNGER AND THEN JUST

WRITE NORTH KOREA A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER

FUCK YEAH

sparklefairydust:

askthegrandhighboob:

fullofsinfullust:

zzazu:

trenzalord:

geometricdeathtrap:

pugsies:

PLEASE READ. WILL NOT HURT TO AND FORWARD.

Kids are putting Drano, tin foil, and a little water in plastic drink bottles
and capping it up - leaving it on lawns, in mail boxes, in gardens, on driveways etc. just waiting for you to pick it up intending to put it in the rubbish, but you’ll never make it!!!

If the bottle is picked up, and the bottle is shaken even just a little - in about 30 seconds or less it builds up enough gas which then explodes with enough force to remove some your extremities. The liquid that comes out is
boiling hot as well.

Don’t pick up any plastic bottles that may be lying in your yards or in the gutter, etc.

Pay attention to this. A plastic bottle with a cap. A little Drano. A little water. A small piece of foil.
Disturb it by moving it; and BOOM!! No fingers left and other serious effects to your face, eyes, etc.

Please ensure that everyone that may not have email access are also informed of this. 

Snopes confirms.

I’ve dealt with these before. If you find one:

  • Do not touch it
  • Do not touch it
  • Clear the area around it. It will explode on its own in time.
  • Once it explodes, do not make contact with the liquid inside. If needed, flush it away with large amounts of water.
  • Do not try to detonate it. You’ll probably be disfigured.

I’ve seen what these can do. The acidic liquid inside can strip the paint off a car.

when i visited vancouver these were everywhere. it’s not a fucking joke they’re actually scary

Just a reminder that there are awful shitty people out there doing awful shitty things to everyone else

there was a bunch of these at disneyland

i found one in my back yard, when i let my dogs out, i pulled them back inside, took my cousins bb shotgun and shot it from a safe distance (i was in my house and shot from the screen door. When it went off, my family and neighbors came running to see if everything was ok. I told them what happened and to watch out for them. 

These things are not a joke! When we went to check the damage there was a fucking hole in the ground. The dirt in my yard is like CLAY.

This shit is bad news

PLEASE DON’T BE AN ASSHAT. PLEASE DON’T LEAVE BOMBS IN PEOPLE’S YARDS.

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